It was in the midst of a deep sleep that I became aware of a pressure on my chest and instinctively knew that something was there. My reactive response kicked in and with my right hand I began to smack! smack! smack! on whatever it was. As the brain fog began to lift I realized there was a human head on my chest. I stopped my smacking, and instead grabbed a handful of hair, pulling fiercely as I turned the head toward me. I wanted to see the face of my intruder, so I could know who I was dealing with. Simultaneously, I heard his voice in a cry of despair lamenting, “Wifey! It’s me. What are you doing?”
As the reality of the situation hit me, I released the hair, dropped the head and went right back to sleep. I can only assume that my husband quietly slunk out of our bedroom.
The next morning began at o-dark-thirty for me, as usual. Sitting in the living room with my reading and a cup of coffee, I heard Angel get up and head for the bathroom. As he passed by the living room, I heard his standard, “Good morning, Wifey. How’s your coffee?” This I knew, was a source of joy for him as he regularly prepares my coffee the day before so all I have to do in the morning is push the button on the coffee maker.
“So, Babe?” I ask cautiously, wanting desperately to know how much of what I remembered from the previous night was reality vs. a dream. “What time did you get in last night?”
“Oh,” he replied carefully. “It was late. You were already asleep.”
“Hmm. Really?”
It wasn’t until the next day that Angel recounted what really happened. It was a poker night for him, so I know those do get late. Angel has been playing Free Poker here in town several nights a week for about 15 years now. This is something he enjoys immensely, finding it fun and relaxing after a hard day of digging and hauling at work. It’s definitely his happy place.
I’ve been slowly learning from a wife’s perspective, how this poker-thing works. He goes to the game after work and they start playing with however many people show up. Once someone is ‘out’ they get to go home. The last person left in the game is the winner. Ultimately, the later he comes home, the closer he was to being the winner. And this is where the wee hours of the morning come into play as many games last to midnight and beyond.
Something else I’ve observed of one trying to be awake in the wee hours – especially one still struggling to admit that he is no longer a ‘spring chicken’ – is the uncanny ability to fall asleep in the oddest places once he does get home. Obviously in front of the TV is a common place, but also while sitting most anywhere else. For instance, the other night after I knew he was home, I noticed the house remained dark and quiet so I went looking to see where he landed. And there he was in the kitchen, sitting on the ottoman, sound asleep right where he had taken his shoes off. I tried to wake him several times to no avail. So I took his picture for future evidence and got myself back to bed.
At times I do get worried or frustrated when I wake up in the night and he is not yet home; especially if I have not heard from him. But somehow, as soon as he walks in the door, my heart responds and all is well. God knows I love this dude! For Angel has become my strength, my protector, my love, and my laughter. And oh, does he make me laugh! I tend to have a much too serious self and he can always draw me out of that with his positive attitude and ability to help me see the lighter side of things. He obviously cares for and about me. He also cares about our home which is evidenced in how he will step up and help to cook and clean without ever being asked. In fact, I’m sure I’ve only ever cleaned the bathroom twice since we’ve been married.
We both work a lot of days and hours during the week, so have made Sunday our day to reconnect. After church we like to spend time together and this is where the rubber meets the road as far as planning, budgeting and staying on top of things are concerned. In making decisions, Angel is quick to ask me what I think about something. He listens well and respects my input. He also is quick to point out how easily I can talk about trusting God for our needs, but then just as easily default to my number one ‘strength’ which is WORRY when God doesn’t come through according to my timetable.
But God does come through – again and again. This we both know and experience. And even in those times when we don’t pray together, we easily share our prayers and God’s answers with one another. In so many ways we help and support each other. Love and respect go a long way. This isn’t a first marriage for either of us so we both know what it is to be in a struggling relationship and tend give each other plenty of room to be imperfect.
So he’s got a poker-thing. Fact is, he had it before he had me. And God knows, I too have my ‘things.’ All that being said, I am incredibly thankful that by the grace of God, two less-than-perfect people can be crazy for each other and continue to move upward and onward together in this thing called life!
“Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.” Romans 12:10 (NLT)
(Written September 2018)