I thought I heard God…
…when I said ‘yes’ to college
and my Dad shot holes in my zeal.
I harbored much bitterness for so many years
Not knowing I needed to heal.
I thought I heard God…
…when I said ‘no’ to Hawkins
for the church was direction my soul
It took many tears, and even more years
Before my heart once again, felt whole.
I thought I heard God…
…when I said ‘yes’ to John
the Englishman there in town.
The church threw up, and John wound up
In a ward with a nervous breakdown.
I thought I heard God…
…when I said ‘yes’ to Dave
and looked forward to wedded bliss.
We were in the right church and doin’ good works
How could I get so far, and yet miss?
I thought I heard God…
…when I said ‘yes’ to a move
to Colorado, right here with Focus.
Not knowing that Dave, would soon journey on
And never grow fond of the locals.
I thought I heard God…
…when I made the move
to separate for a time.
Thinking that Dave would soon enough crave
To be back in these arms of mine.
I thought I heard God…
…when I said ‘yes’ to NLC
for my background, this was big news.
Yet those who claim to love me best
Will be stunned in their righteous pews!
I thought I heard You, God
So many times, in big things and in small
Why couldn’t You just let everyone know
Why couldn’t You just tell them all?
‘Cause I thought I heard You, God
And then I was judged and looked at with scorn
By Your people, not by the world
It’s the saints who mock and make us wish we weren’t born.
How do I really know when I hear You, God?
When You’re the One speaking to me
When it is Your heart, not my whim that is calling,
And it’s You who is nudging, to get me to see?
Written November 2002
Copyright © 2021 by Terri Art